In Case You Need It


I got some bills this morning,

They tumbled through the door

I counted every penny but

The bills still came to more

And printed in the paper

For Pisces it did say,

“If you would just be bolder,

Then this might be your day”

It said, “Lady Luck apologises

For the way she’s been behavin’

And she promises she’ll change.

If you don’t want to know her, she’ll understand,

But if you’d like to take her hand,

She could be back at your command.”

So I ran round the corner,

The bookie’s there I entered

Put ten quid on a mare

From a stud in Kildare

But though the jockey beat her,

In Belgium they will eat her.

The tannoy began to rip as I tore up the slip

It said, “Lady Luck apologises

For the way she’s been behavin’

And she promises she’ll change.

If you don’t want to know her, she’ll understand,

But if you’d like to take her hand,

She could be back at your command.”

I met a girl this evening

And I began to think

That I might get her drunk

But she matched me drink for drink.

So when she drew the curtains,

I felt success was certain

But as she kicked me out,

She spoke in the third person:

She said, “Lady Luck apologises

For the way she’s been behavin’

And she promises she’ll change.

If you don’t want to know her, she’ll understand,

But if you’d like to take her hand,

She could be back at your command.”

—The Proclaimers, “Lady Luck”