The minute I saw that the prize firedoglake’s Jane Hamsher was giving out for her Joe Klein contest was a copy of the newly-released Action! DVD, I went ahead and ordered one.
I saw Action! on Fox when it ran in 1999, and made sure I caught the final few episodes on FX. Barbara and I can crack each other just repeating the inane tagline of “Beverly Hills Gun Club”, the movie that lies at the heart of the storyline of the 13-episode series.
There truly is nothing new under the sun, and the people who created a TV show about the movie business during the waning years of the Clinton administration put in a segment where the show’s protagonist — a morally-bankrupt producer named Peter Dragon — has to testify before a Senate panel on media violence that could have been written yesterday (or twenty years ago). This is a clip from the opening scene in the fifth episode (“Mr. Dragon Goes to Washington”) where a senator asks Dragon how he can make the films he does and look his little daughter in the eyes. As reprehensible as he is, Dragon rises to the occasion (although he, of course, gets in trouble for it):
Quicktime (3.33MB)
Peter Dragon: I never voted to subsidize the growing of tobacco, while turning my back on food programs for starving kids. I’ve never vetoed a gun control bill; all my guns are fake, Senator. I’ve never rushed to the defense of Kuwaiti oil fields, while ignoring genocide in Africa, because big oil companies that line your fat pockets aren’t concerned with black Africa. Those are all productions of your company Senator, this company right here!
Senator: Now you are perilously close to being cited for contempt, Mr. Dragon!
Dragon: I’m already in contempt! I’m in contempt of all you old whores and hypocrites! At least I’m giving the American people what they want!
Senator: And just exactly what it is that you think they want?
Dragon: I’ll tell “yew” exactly what they want, Senator. They want chase scenes and car crashes. They want firm breasts and tight-assed Latino men. They want their cowboys to be strong and silent. They want their cops to bend the rules to get the job done. They want the boy to get the girl. They want the alien to get killed — unless he’s cute. They want the good guy to win. They want the bad guy to die; hopefully in the biggest explosion the budget will allow. But most importantly, Senator, they want to walk into a theater and for ninety minutes forget the fucking mess that you have left of this nation.
Senator: You, sir, are a malignancy on America!
Dragon: I’m a malignancy? Well, if I’m a malignancy and my movies are cancer, I hope the whole damn country gets cancer, how’s that?
Just buy the damn DVD like I did.
For extra credit, here’s a twenty-some-odd-year-old clip from SCTV, lampooning the pressure put on commercial television by conservative groups and advertisers.
Quicktime (14.73MB)